Nursing in Public

  Pinot & Dita 

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding the issue of nursing in public. Most states have laws that protect a mother's right to feed her child outside of her home. It seems silly when stated that way, but that's really all that breastfeeding is. Yet in our culture we've forgotten what breasts are for. According to Mirriam-Webster, mammals are "warm-blooded higher vertebrates...that nourish their young with milk secreted by mammary glands, have the skin usually more or less covered with hair, and include humans." Nourishing young is the breast's primary biological function.

With the sexualization of breasts, the predominance of commercial formula, and the modern person's lust for ease and convenience, breastfeeding mothers have somehow become the minority. As a result, these mothers can sometimes be made to feel uncomfortable for nursing in public.

Most of the arguments I've heard against public breastfeeding simply make no sense. The most common (and most ridiculous, in my opinion) is simply, "I don't want to be (eating, shopping, fill in the blank) and see your boobs hanging out."

Seriously? First of all, no one's forcing you to look. Second, how often have you witnessed someone bending over and you see a little bit more than you'd like to? Happens all the time, right? As unpleasant as that might be, it's just a fact of life. You just look away and get on with your life. Why should breastfeeding be different? Never mind the fact that there should be nothing unpleasant about seeing "too much" (breastfeeding should be so normal that we don't even notice), but even if it does make you uncomfortable just look at something else! This isn't rocket science.

(Here is an excellent post listing the most common arguments against nursing in public, and why they're absurd.)



 by  space-man 

As a Christian woman, I initially had some reservations about breastfeeding and modesty. I was uncomfortable with the idea of letting strangers see my boobs (as anyone should be). So for the first few months I used a blanket to cover up. It wasn't a big deal. I didn't mind doing it, and I wasn't doing it because anyone was forcing me to. It was just personal preference. And in those beginning months I sometimes had to work with my baby to get her latched properly. I could peek my head under the blanket and get her situated without having to worry if the extra finagling exposed more than I would like. Although I did notice that the process of getting covered up in the first place generally attracted more attention than I expected. And I often felt like the blanket over me was like a huge billboard advertising that I was breastfeeding, not that that's necessarily a bad thing.

But the day came when the blanket simply didn't work anymore. As she gained control of her arms and became more aware of her surroundings, it became more and more difficult to keep the blanket over her head and off of the ground. I kept trying for awhile until someone told me that the only part of the breast the baby needs access to is the nipple--everything else can stay covered. And once the baby's latched, nothing should be visible. So I tried it, and it was so easy! I'm still very discreet, and even if she pops off I'll quickly and nonchalantly cover any exposed areas. But for the most part I can nurse her easily and comfortably (for both of us) and still be 100% covered up. Perfect! For my next baby--especially those early months when we have to work on establishing our latch I'll probably get something like this. So cute!

I personally feel that how (or if) a woman chooses to nurse in public should be entirely according to her own comfort level--not the comfort of people around her. And while a breastfeeding woman can choose to do  things differently under different circumstances, she should feel no obligation to do so. Here is a great article by a Christian dad regarding the perceived sin issues of nursing in public.

 by  andycarvin 

Part of the reason I no longer cover up in public is also to prove something. Primarily, I want to prove that breastfeeding is easy. It's just as convenient (actually more so) than formula. I want to demonstrate to expecting moms that they can breastfeed and still lead normal, active lives. I also want to demonstrate that breastfeeding in public can be done in a discreet, unobtrusive way. Seeing a woman breastfeeding does not mean you're going to witness a peep show. I can prove it.

A woman who is new to breastfeeding, or perhaps struggling at first, is much more likely to give up if she's made to feel uncomfortable. As a result, everyone suffers. The mother and baby suffer from not receiving the  many benefits of breastfeeding. That woman's future babies suffer from not having that relationship. Our society suffers as children are not given the head start they need to combat the ill-health and obesity plaguing our generation. My hope is that by the time my daughter is nursing her own babies, breastfeeding will be considered normal again.

I have breastfed in so many places: airports, airplanes, stores, restaurants, parks, theme  parks, live shows, weddings, churches, and many others. I have never had a negative comment or look (that I know of). But if I ever do, if I am ever asked to leave or told it's inappropriate, I am more than ready to educate anyone who tries to tell me how and where I should feed my child.

Mother's Day

  by  Awen Photography 

I think the hardest thing about being a mother is wanting to not make mistakes. I feel the weight of responsibility, and at times it can feel overwhelming. Specifically the desire to not  make the same mistakes my mother did.

When I found out I was pregnant I had ideal image of what I wanted our family to be like. I would have healthy, happy, obedient children. I would be a joyful, gentle, compassionate wife and mother--the picture of domestic bliss. I would cook healthy meals from scratch every single day. I would, of course, drop whatever I was doing and pay attention to my children and husband whenever they needed me. I would be the perfect mom.

Then morning sickness set in. Then I was tired. Then I got moody. Then the sweet baby comes along and the angels start singing while I cradle her for the very first time. Then I get her home and realize I have no idea what I'm doing. And then, I realize how much of a miracle it is that any children live to see adulthood. Being a mom isn't easy!

I love my mom and appreciate everything she did for me when I was growing up. She sacrificed a lot, and she did the best she could with the resources she had available. Even still, we don't have the best relationship. I've struggled with this for so many years and have worked hard to achieve and maintain the relationship that we do have. But I never feel like it's enough. I feel like I'm a bad daughter because I don't get these warm fuzzy feelings  whenever I think of her.

My husband tells me this is normal, and I think he's right. But that almost makes it worse. What will my relationship with my daughter be like in twenty years? Will we be close, or will she merely tolerate me because she has to? Will she move across the country because it's less of a strain on our relationship?

I don't know why my mom and I aren't closer. I don't know exactly what went wrong along the way. But I hope I can avoid those mistakes with my own daughter.

New Study: Home Birth Versus Hospital Birth

Photo by Voxphoto

The January-February 2010 issue of Mothering magazine reported a study by the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ). The study was published in September 2009 and it reviewed the outcomes of almost 13,000 births in British Columbia over a five year period (January 1, 2000 to December 31, 2004). The births were divided into three groups: planned home births attended by a midwife, planned hospital births attended by a midwife, and planned hospital births attended by physicians. The same group of midwives attended both the home births and the hospital births.

There was a much higher rate of intervention during labor in the hospital setting, especially those attended by a physician. Electronic fetal monitoring was especially high. Hospital births with a physician were almost six times more likely to introduce electronic fetal monitoring than home births. They were twice as likely to induce labor, and the mothers were almost four times as likely to have an epidural.

Ninety percent of home births were able to have a spontaneous vaginal delivery, compared to only seventy five percent of physician attended hospital births. Mothers were also much less likely to suffer postpartum hemorrhage, infection, and perineal tearing.

The rate of perineal death was 3.5% in the home births, 5.7% in midwife attended hospital births, and 6.4% in physician attended hospital births.

It can be concluded from this study that a midwife assisted planned home birth is at least as safe as a hospital birth, and in many cases even more so. The risk of perineal death and obstetric intervention is lower when a midwife is present, and even lower when the birth occurs out of the hospital setting.

The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada encourages research into the safety of all birth settings. It does not take a specific stand on home birth. ¹³ In 2008, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reiterated its longstanding opposition to home births, stating that the choice to deliver at home places the process of giving birth ahead of the goal of having a healthy baby. ¹⁴ In contrast, the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists in the United Kingdom has issued a statement supporting home birth as a viable choice for women with uncomplicated pregnancies. ¹⁵

Hopefully studies like this will help home birth achieve acceptance in American politics and culture as not only a viable option, but a safe and preferred birth choice.

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Why Natural Birth?

Photo by Aldo Risolvo

Natural childbirth can be a wonderful thing. Of women who choose to birth naturally, seldom have regrets. Fear is a large issue surrounding our culture's perception of childbirth. A large part of the blame falls on the media. Birth is viewed as an extremely painful event that you are crazy to attempt without the help of some kind of anesthetic. 


But is it really so crazy?


Women have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years. And if natural childbirth was really as horrible as we all think it is, don't you think most women would have stopped after only one child? Clearly, that's not the case. So we can at least determine that it's not only possible to have a natural childbirth, but many women choose to do it again and again. Why?


Well, there are a lot of reasons. The female body is uniquely designed for childbirth. Every little detail works together in perfect harmony to achieve something truly miraculous. And it really is miraculous. A remarkable number of things need to go right, from conception to delivery, for a healthy baby to  be born. That being said, most women's bodies are capable of doing it with no major problems. 


Most women choose to have as healthy a pregnancy as possible. They give up caffeine, alcohol, certain foods, and even cigarettes for these precious little lives. So why do they get all the way to the delivery room and then allow doctors and the culture to convince them that massive levels of medications and anesthetics will have no effect on the baby? 


Most women are afraid. Most women trust the advice of their doctors with no reservations. A lot of women don't know there's an option. When most of the women around you are giving birth in hospitals with epidurals, or possibly even C-sections, it's easy to think that that's just the way it's done. That's what I thought. I didn't even realize there was an option for natural birth until I met people who had done it. 


So it is possible. It's not only possible, it has major benefits for the mother and the baby that are lost with the introduction of medications.


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Media Misconceptions

Close your eyes and think about every birth you've ever seen on TV or in a movie. This is how it goes: The woman is standing around talking, not a care in the world, and all of a sudden, "It's time!" She starts screaming, everyone around her freaks out, and they rush to the nearest hospital delivery room. All the while she's sweating and yelling, doing some kind of crazy breathing. Maybe she's on a hospital gurney or in a wheelchair. The suspense is rising because, "the baby's going to come out any second! Hurry up!" 


When she finally gets to the delivery room, she is immediately surrounded by a swarm of surgical masks, shiny surgical instruments are flashing about, and all kinds of machines are blinking and beeping. 


She's laying back on the bed, feet up in stirrups, and she starts pushing. She screams like she's being murdered, all the while crushing the fingers of her bewildered-looking husband. Perhaps she looks ominously into his face and says something like, "YOU did this to me!" 


Then one or two screams later the doctor triumphantly  holds up the baby, announces the sex, and then the camera cuts to an unknown time later when the mother is holding the swaddled baby and the father is looking adoringly at his new family. 


Sound familiar? This describes what I knew about childbirth before I became pregnant. Lots of screaming and lots of pain. Oh, and don't forget the classic hee hee, hoo hoo breathing that women in labor are apparently supposed to do. 


But did you know that most births are nothing like this? After watching the birth scene in a recent movie, I commented to my husband, "Has anyone who makes movies ever had a baby? They must know that this isn't what it's actually like." I guess the real thing doesn't make good television. 


The real thing, in fact, can be wonderful. Yes, even without drugs! All it takes is some knowledge and preparation.


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Natural Birth Advocate

Photo by Altamar

Today I reconnected with someone I hadn't talked to in awhile. She's expecting her first baby, a girl, in three weeks. She asked for my advice and opinions on a few things, and I was happy to give them to her. Since El's birth, I've been an advocate for natural birth. Unfortunately, the woman I was talking to was anxious about what to expect and had been getting most of her information from OBs and birth classes offered by the hospital, which has one of the highest C-Section rates in the area. I think their rate is close to 67%.

She expressed an interest in natural birth, but was scared about the possibility of giving birth without pain medication. She was hesitant to introduce drugs to her baby's system, but wasn't sure if it could, or should, be avoided. Her birth class, of course, tried to reassure her that epidurals are safe, normal, harmless, and preferable.

I tried to give her as much information as I could in the short time we talked, without being too pushy I hope. I mentioned The Business of Being Born and recommended she read birth stories of women who have had natural births. My heart is going out to her because I don't think she realizes what's in store for her. She's a woman who has never been super interested in having children. She's excited now, but scared and uninformed. She hopes to breastfeed, but isn't sure if she'll be able to make it work. Her husband, also, is encouraging an epidural because he can't stand the thought of her in pain. He's also more into mainstream medicine, while she's sorta kinda interested in exploring other options.

It can be such an uphill battle for a woman to have a natural birth in a hospital setting, even if she already knows what kind of birth she wants and has a supportive husband. This poor woman has so many factors working against her. I'm praying for her--hoping her birth isn't a traumatic experience. I hope she is able to bond with her baby right away and isn't separated from her for hours. I hope she is able to establish breastfeeding before she leaves the hospital, knowing that it can be difficult to keep going once home and there isn't as much support.

How do you try to encourage someone toward natural birth without being preachy? Especially someone who really doesn't know the benefits and has so much already stacked against her?

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My Birth Story

When I was pregnant, I read a ton of birth stories to help prepare me for what a natural, unmedicated birth might look like and I found them very helpful. Now it's time to post my own.

On April 1st we went to a small group meeting for our church. It was a Wednesday and I was due on Friday, the 3rd. I had an appointment earlier that day. They said the baby was lying face up instead of face down, and her bottom was angled out away from my spine and more toward the front of my belly, leaning away from the direction of the birth canal. The midwife, told me to wear the maternity belt around the middle of my stomach all day to encourage her to line up and drop down.

About

I am a mama of one beautiful little girl. I began my natural childbirth journey when I was dating my husband. I was a believer in mainstream medicine--I had previously wanted to go to medical school. Although there was always a part of me that believed there was a simpler, more natural way of life.

When I became pregnant, I had already decided to have a natural birth. A big factor in that decision was Ricki Lake's documentary The Business of Being Born, which I highly recommend. 


Expensive birth classes and natural birth "kits" were not an option for us, so I prepared for my natural birth by scouring the internet for information on how to cope, how to relax, what positions to try during labor, and anything I could find. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I was nervous about not knowing how to deal with the pain.


My goal with this site is to provide information for any woman so she can know her options. Not everyone understands what is going to happen during a typical hospital birth. Not everyone realizes that a natural birth can be a calm and empowering experience. I hope this site can help answer your questions and give you the information you need to make an informed, educated decision on what kind of birth is best for you and your family.